Kathy Burke's candid comment on motherhood after health battle: 'It wasn't something I was crying out for'

Kathy Burke on Motherhood, Health, and Living Life on Her Own Terms

In her memoir A Mind of My Own, acclaimed British actress and comedian Kathy Burke offers an unflinching look at her life, career, and deeply personal reflections on motherhood. Known for her sharp wit and fearless honesty,

Burke opens up about how her health challenges and personal convictions shaped her decision not to have children.

Burke, now 61, reveals that while she did consider motherhood in her 30s, it was never a burning desire. She writes candidly, “I'd often thought about having a baby. I was in my late 30s, so the clock was ticking, but it wasn’t something I was crying out for.” She recalls a brief period of broodiness in her early 30s but admits she wasn’t interested in having a child with her partner at the time. 

Ultimately, she concludes, “Having a baby had never been my true heart's calling.” Her relationships with children have been affectionate, but she notes with characteristic humor that she’s always happier once she can “hand them back”, a sentiment she extends to romantic relationships as well.

Her perspective on motherhood was further influenced by a serious health battle that began in her 40s. Burke underwent major stomach surgery for diverticulitis, a painful condition involving bulges in the intestinal wall. Complications from the surgery revealed a rare and chronic blood disorder known as Hughes syndrome, which causes abnormal blood clotting. This condition led to a life-threatening episode where her adrenal glands clotted and bled, leaving her without natural adrenaline.

As a result, she has been on steroid treatment for over 17 years. She also disclosed that she had suffered a miscarriage, adding another layer of complexity to her relationship with the idea of motherhood.

Beyond her health, Burke’s reflections are rooted in a childhood marked by hardship. Raised on a council estate in Islington, London, she lost her mother to cancer at the age of two. Her father, an alcoholic, raised her and her two brothers.

These early experiences, she suggests, shaped her worldview and her sense of independence. Drama school became a form of escape, and it was there, at the Anna Scher Theatre School, that she began to carve out a path in acting, eventually earning acclaim for roles in films like Nil by Mouth, for which she won Best Actress at the 1997 Cannes Film Festival.

In A Mind of My Own, Burke doesn’t just revisit her past, she reclaims it. Her reflections on motherhood are not tinged with regret but rather with clarity and self-awareness. She challenges the societal expectation that all women should aspire to motherhood, offering instead a portrait of a life lived fully, if unconventionally. Her story is one of resilience, autonomy, and the courage to define happiness on her own terms.